Monday, December 29, 2014

Star Piece, Star Peace

     We often lose ourselves in our own lives. We don’t know which way to turn, which way to look. We wonder what the right thing to do is. We wonder if we’ll be okay. We lose sight of our goals in our anxiety, in our fear, in our self-destruction. We lose ourselves.
     Who are you? What makes you, you? Who is your authentic self?

     Within us all resides this part of self that is self-sustaining. Outside layers ebb and flow, and this
shows in our personality. Personality isn’t all it’s cut out to be. One day we’re upset, so we act snobby. Another day we’re hyperactive and vital, so we become jubilant. And yet in another day comes sorrow, so we're labeled depressed, lazy, or a party-pooper. Personality becomes a flexible mask. It’s the dance to woo that special someone, the presentation to seem likable or threatening. It’s temporary, a “you” to be outlived by time and memory. They are all upheld by emotional shifts which are caused by our surrounding environments. But we aren’t our personalities nor our emotions. We have them, but we aren’t them. I am not sadness, though I may feel sad. I am not excitement, though I may feel excited.
     Personality is the outer layer of our being, which constantly changes form depending on the moment. Personality is a tool. You are not a tool. You are a person, a being. There is a part of you which vibrates like a note, a wonderfulness that sounds off the essence which is you. That is your authentic self.

     We may also carry unhealthy habits, patterns which keep us from integrity. You and Other argue, and both are so eager to be seen that no one is doing the looking. We all want to be seen. We call each other names and put one another down so that we appear to be on top. We project our flaws into those around us, never seeing them for who they truly are. We chisel away at our own personalities to be the jewel within the crowd for all to gaze upon. We never get too far, appealing to the people for a moment before the Sun sets and no light shines upon us. But neither are we our habits. Habits can die out, and new ones birthed in their place. The core of our being, who we really are, is eternal.

     I teach this to any and all who are willing to listen: the ego is not bad. The ego is your human identity, personality its voice. It’s what you show of yourself to the world. Yes, many people’s egos are distorted. Childhoods may have left us scarred from frightening events or unhealthy and dangerous living environments like living in the ghetto. Egos become shields against intimacy or kindness. Personality may appear rough and threatening in order not to be seen as weak and be taken advantage of. Or we may have lived in an interactive suburb, yet may have been bullied by our peers, colleagues, or even our own parents, so we grow up shifting our egos to seem successful or loved, personalities reflecting this by being stuck-up or narcissistic.

     But the ego still isn’t bad. It’s injured. It needs healing. It wants to be heard, listened to. We are all on this planet to become more human. So of course the spirit body of our humanity, our egos, may seem all bent out of shape. Our human selves have gone through a lot. Inspiring is the person who, through all the trials and errors of life, still manages to project a kind personality and right-sized ego. The ego is part of your humanness, and to chuck it away or ignore it as though it does not exist or serves no purpose is throwing away a part of your self, your humanity.

     Still, they are simply tools to be used to aid you in your quest for discovering who you are. Their work for you serves a greater purpose and a deeper part of self.

     Imagine your personality like layers of clothing. For each occasion, you typically wear a different outfit to reflect the mood of the setting. It speaks to the gatherers, the friends, the party-goers. It’s
your human self speaking to the world saying, “tonight I will be sexy” or “today I will be proactive” or “in this moment, I will be healthy and fit”. Your ego, through personality may be trying to say, “don't even try messing with me” or “I want someone to pay attention to me” or “I want to make people laugh endlessly”.

     What if you took off those layers of clothing for a moment, those layers of personality and ego? What if you took off the titles “sexy” and “tough” and “proactive” and “easy” and “fit” and “successful” and “laid back”? What if you were no longer “doctor” or “teacher” or “mother” or “lover” or “bus driver” or "dog walker” or “political activist”? What would be left? Who is that naked self clothed in nothing but its smooth skin of authenticity? Are you now love? Are you beauty? Are you ebb of nurture, the flow of the spritely? Are you justice, the law of the worlds? Are you passion, the deep knowing of everything in its dance? Are you words at all? Are you a note, a melody, a song? Are you an embrace? Are you an offering? Who are you? Know thyself.

     If we knew who we were, it wouldn’t matter how lost in our journey we became. It wouldn’t matter whether we know what the right thing to do is, or which way to go. None of that would matter because we’re no longer working to seem flawless or to please others. Knowing ourselves, being lost would be an adventure towards further discovery. We wouldn't be lost at all! We'd see that right and wrong are mere shadows of what's really important: acting according to our existence. We'd know that everything would be alright; worry and anxiety melt away like cotton candy. We'd know who we truly are. We'd remember.

     Spreading out from our authentic selves, we know what we stand for, and our character is shaped. From there, we shape the morals we live by. Through that, we work in the world in our shining egos, reflective of our true selves, our personalities speaking in the language of authenticity in any given situation. And though that voice will speak in different tongues from time to time, each will come from the heart of who you really are.

     So I ask you again: who are you?

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