Star Piece, Star Peace

     We often lose ourselves in our own lives. We don’t know which way to turn, which way to look. We wonder what the right thing to do is. We wonder if we’ll be okay. We lose sight of our goals in our anxiety, in our fear, in our self-destruction. We lose ourselves.

 

     Who are you? What makes you, you? Who is your authentic self?

     Within us all resides this part of self that is self-sustaining. Outside layers ebb and flow, and this

shows in our personality. Personality isn’t all it’s cut out to be. One day we’re upset, so we act snobby. Another day we’re hyperactive and vital, so we become jubilant. And yet in another day comes sorrow, so we're labeled depressed, lazy, or a party-pooper. Personality becomes a flexible mask. It’s the dance to woo that special someone, the presentation to seem likable or threatening. It’s temporary, a “you” to be outlived by time and memory. They are all upheld by emotional shifts which are caused by our surrounding environments. But we aren’t our personalities nor our emotions. We have them, but we aren’t them. I am not sadness, though I may feel sad. I am not excitement, though I may feel excited.

Containing a Tide

Change is inevitable.

Just saying those three words is enough to shift anyone from their stance and core. But that it existential reality. If you exist, you will not only experience change; you are change. Many people don't realize that they are the very thing they fear.

I won't detail how many times my life has dramatically swirled so that I'm on the ground feeling like I have to start over again. But that's the best way to forge a blade. Break down particles in the heat of desire, mold it to your will. Cool things down; inspect your progress. Break it down again. Keep molding. Keep cooling. Feed the flames with the bellows of hope.

This is tedious work. But this work of building, breaking down, and rebuilding is the work of Nature, and the work of us all, the work that is us all. It is our death and rebirth as humans, as beings of life and Spirit.

If I could keep just one of my tools of the forge, it would be to retain the consciousness that is held in my breath. I can lose desire, I can lose faith, I can lose integrity. But I will always strive to hold conscious breathe, because not too long afterwards, all those aforementioned will be mine again. I can lose my sense of self, my identity. But if I can hold onto this moment in space for just a little bit longer, I know I have made a monumental breakthrough which can not only help me but help all existence. A big responsibility held in each of us, in all our actuality that is us, I know. But that is our Great Work. Again: change is inevitable, that is reality, and if you exist, you are a thread upon that web of change. Your breath is both the silk that holds the web together and the spaces in between.